"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
