the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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