dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
