Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
