I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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