I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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