Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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