you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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