Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
