I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
