1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You were trust falling into bushes
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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