I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
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