did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
