But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize