On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
