erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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