i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
