let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize