Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
