and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
