I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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