Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My ass is underappreciated
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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