I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
