Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I wish life had little blips of pornography
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
the liver wants what the liver wants
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize