You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
