well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
