So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize