Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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