he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
