puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
