Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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