It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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