Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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