By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
