I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
