He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he puts the penis in happiness.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
