i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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