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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just want to make out with him forever
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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