Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
