i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
