just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
