Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize