My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
