god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
