At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
