something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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