How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
