There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Need sex. Gaining weight.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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