marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
