I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
