Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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