One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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