let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
