i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
babies were throwing up all over the place
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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