I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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