i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
