this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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