hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
