I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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